“GOD”, I cried. “Don’t you dare answer that prayer”!

2 06 2010

I am a Christian and I am proud of it.

I remember the day clearly when God’s Spirit revealed His deep love for me on the 17th March, 19997 at 10:30 pm on a pew at St. Marks Anglican Church in Picton NSW. That day I was filled with an overwhelming experience of Gods love and knew beyond all doubt that He had forgiven me every sin.

I love the church. I love the variety of people who come to church. I love meeting of a Sunday, praying, singing, hearing the word spoken. I love giving to the church also. For me the church is not so much the building and organisation, it’s the people.

I love praying. I used to have a saying that there was one thing I enjoy more than praying and that was getting answers to prayer. I have refined that somewhat now. I say I love praying to our God for He is a God who loved me first. Prayer is part of the natural relationship that a Christian has with God. I have seen God answer many prayers over the years. Some were nearly instant. Some took longer. Some you have to class as being miracles. Many times God answered with the answer NO!

Keeping this in mind, I used to scream out to God when a well-meaning Christian would come up to me and tell me, “Craig, I have heard you have separated from your wife…we are praying that you will go back to her” or “We are praying you will reconcile” etc

There was a time I silently screamed out within…”God, don’t you dare answer that prayer with a yes” The very thought of going back into that hell hole scared me to bits.
It killed me deep inside that few people ever came up to me and asked, “Craig, what is the best way I/ we can pray for you”? There were people who even said this to me….while I was living in the back of my van…wondering where I would get my next meal.

There were many ways you could have prayed for me. You could have prayed that God would heal my fears. You could pray that God would heal my emotional, spiritual, physical wounds. You could pray that God would heal my wife’s wounding and abusive nature. You could have offered to have me come around for a meal. You could have offered me a bed to sleep on. You could have even offered me a listening ear where I could pour out my heart and tell you why I left.

I don’t like divorce. I don’t think God likes it either. I truly believe that God would rather 2 people live together in peace and harmony, showing and treating each other with dignity and respect. I do believe that people can reconcile. I do believe that at times God does perform miracles and brings those who have separated back together again into a relationship that glorifies Him.

But there are times I truly believe that God would rather someone to go through a divorce rather than stay in a relationship that is causing much harm.

There was a time when a lady told me this when I was shopping at the local supermarket… what she didn’t know is that at that time I was considering taking my life because I had 5 minutes before hang up an abusive phone call from my ex because I had forgotten to return one of my children’s pair of underpants. The pain from the words that had just ripped me apart was causing me deep despair….

Those words, “Craig we are praying that you will return to your wife and family” caused me to turn away from that lady and walk out of the supermarket. I wanted to throw myself on the floor and have a huge paddy. It was like I could not breathe. The pain that welled up inside me was so intense. And so I cried to God…”God don’t you dare answer that prayer”.

I guess this post is more to my Christian friends then those who are not… If you know someone who has seperated…go up to them and ask them, “How can I best pray and help you at this moment”?




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