Do feminists believe its their right to abuse men and not acknowledge it?

22 06 2010

On of the things I am trying  to do with this blog is to encourage men who have suffered abuse that they are not alone. I am trying to set up that there is evidence and enough research done to acknowledge the need that men do need help in this area. And I’m trying to bring this hidden issue out into the light of society.

One of the areas I try hard not to do is to make it a women hating or feminist hating blog. I truly believe in true equality between gender, with a recognizance that there are  biological differences.

Theres a discussion on Toy Soldiers at the moment. For the most part I enjoy reading this blog. The articles are well written, the subject is to the point. It really saddens me about the issues the author has raised and the viral comments and ignorant gender biased tirades made by some militant feminist commentators. There are 3 male commentators who are talking about their experience of being raped by a women…2 while they were children.

Take this comment that was made in regards to their experience.


Saurs, your last comment is a complete disgrace to feminists everywhere just from sheer idiocy and lack of research. In most educated western nations, rape is defined as; “The forceful penetration of an orifice with a penis or other objects”. Simple logic dictates very few rapists are female from its definition.

Women cannot rape men through normal vaginal intercourse, but men can. In addition men have the advantage through rape culture. Statistics point out that 99% of men are rapists anyway. Women raping men are near nonexistent compared to men raping females, and shouldn’t be given any attention until the problem is reduced to near even levels, if it should ever be addressed at all. Its a victimless crime really. Men do not suffer the same emotional trauma from a forced sexual encounter as women do. (They don’t possess the same emotional depth as women.) Men who were raped(LOL) should count their blessings and be grateful since its more than they deserved.

This comment was made by a self confessing feminist. Note her words, that she doubts that male abuse shouldn’t really be addressed any way. The question I need to ask is if this rant by this person indicative of the philosophy behind the department of women under the premier in the NSW government office and why they refuse to act and even acknowledge that there is an issue of male abuse by women and won’t do any thing to help stamp it out?

Male rape victim told by NZ Police they didn’t think it was a crime

18 06 2010

The New Zealand Herald has a story in it today about how a boy suffered sexual abuse from his dance school teacher between the age of 11-18.

When Aaron Gilmore told police he had been sexually abused by a woman, the police officer’s first response was: “I’m failing to see a crime here.”

“It was like being hit with a sledgehammer,” says the Dancing with the Stars performer, who will tell his story at New Zealand’s first sexual abuse survivors’ “summit” in Auckland tomorrow.”

This is a huge point that the NSW Governments 5 year Domestic Violence and Abuse action plan fails to address. It makes the presumption that it is the males who are perpeptuators of any family violence. In doing so it fails to address the facts that not all women are nurtering mothers.

We often read / hear stories in the media about how the department of community services has failed to care for a child who was killed or abused in tragic circumstance while under the care of its mother. I ASK the question if the reason for this is because of the Governments failing to acknowledge that Women Abuse?

Certainly it is failing to do so in its current plan to stem violence within the family and within society.

Aaron. I applaud your courage for speaking out. I pray that indeed our society leaders will hear your story and respond.

Does the state and federal government really want to stamp out Domestic Abuse

17 06 2010

This text comes from page 6 of the NSW Stop the Violence 5 year Action  Plan

This Action Plan provides a strategy for Government, non-government organisations and the community on how we can work together better to stop domestic and family violence and respond more effectively when it happens.
In recent years there have been many initiatives to help stop domestic and family violence, by both Government and non-government agencies. These initiatives have been vital in improving the lives of many women and children across NSW so they can live their lives free from violence. This Action Plan builds on these initiatives.

It then goes on to say

Tackling domestic and family violence is a major priority for the NSW Government as stated in the NSW State Plan. As part of this Plan we are working to:
■ provide safe and appropriate long-term accommodation and support to people experiencing domestic and family violence, relationship and family breakdown
■ provide more protection for victims while increasing conviction rates through reform of sexual assault laws and procedures
■ reduce the level of domestic violence for Aboriginal children and young people
■ provide more support for victims of domestic and family violence, through access to specialist police officers
■ implement a more coordinated and strategic policing response to domestic and family violence while meeting the needs of victims
■ improve support for victims of crime in the court system, particularly victims of domestic and family violence, sexual assault and hate-based crimes.
The NSW Domestic and Family Violence Action Plan builds on the priorities laid out in the State Plan and sets the direction for reducing domestic and family violence and ending the silence when it does occur.

It then talks about Domestic Violence.

What is domestic violence?
There are many definitions of domestic violence. This Plan recognises that domestic violence, also referred to as Intimate Partner Violence, is gender-based violence and a violation of human rights. It involves:
‘Violent, abusive or intimidating behaviour carried out by an adult against a partner or former partner to control and dominate that person. Domestic violence causes fear, physical and/or psychological harm. It is most often violent, abusive or intimidating behaviour by a man against a woman. Living with domestic violence has a profound effect upon children and young people and may constitute a form of child abuse.
The above definition includes violence in same sex relationships. Domestic violence includes physical abuse; sexual abuse; psychological, emotional and verbal abuse; social abuse; economic abuse; and harassment and stalking. These various forms of abuse often occur simultaneously as a form of systematic abuse with the effect of coercing and controlling a partner. Many forms of domestic violence are offences under the NSW Crimes Act 1900.’

Yet according to this Handsard report which is dated the 8th of June, the government is not spending any money, nor is it acknowledging that MEN also are victims of Intimate Partner Abuse (domestic violence)
There is ample evidence and research done in the area of IPA towards men. Yet it would appear that the governmental agencies are not interested in any of that research.

Its been my personal experience and unfortunatly I have heard its the experience of many men also that there is a lack of resources and help for men who are suffering abuse in the forms mentioned above.

I am currently undergoing mediation with my ex wife in regards to the divorce and seperation issues. we are doing that through Relationships Australia which is a governmental funded organisation, which any one who is going through a divorce must attend.

In their foyer is a pamphlet stand that is full of brochures and pamphlets and information for help in regards to domestic violence.  There is not one brochure or pamphlet that contains information about men who suffer abuse. All the information on that stand makes out that men are the perpeptuator and that they are never victims.

I asked the facilitator for some info for myself in regards to undergoing some help and counselling regarding my experience. He went and did some search and came back with a brochure that promoted Oxfame. It had no information on it about males being victims of dv only that they had some counselling services.

The point is…this is a government funded center. It is clearly marked that they offer counselling and resources for anyone who is a victim of dv. Yet…again because I am a man… they couldn’t and wouldn’t help me.

In the action plan it says, that Intimate Partner Abuse is a violation of Human Rights. This is such a funny play on words. You can read my other findings about Human Rights in Australia and what the Government says about that here

Man rings for help as he is being operator finds it funny.

16 06 2010

A mans ex wife breaks into his house and handcuffs herself to him. She then proceeds to beat and bite the poor guy and he rings the police for help. Listen to this live recording here… and listen how the phone operator finds this funny as she talks to the guy.

Would it be funny and would she be asking so many questions if it was a man beating up on a women?

Words that cut deep…my testimony

14 06 2010

Society may not care…but there is one who does.

14 06 2010

Society tells me as a man that I’m to get in touch with my emotions more. It tells me that I need to work more on being self aware. Society tells me that I need to feel more. Society tells me that I need to be able to express my emotions and how I feel more. It tells me that as a man I need to share more of what is going deep inside my inner man. To be able to express my fears, my inadequacies and to face up to who I really am not.

Yet when I a man cry out from deep within where I have buried my pain. When I a man share of his deep shame, and cry from the pain. When I a man, share of a soul destroying shame that is caused by domestic violence at the hands of his wife.

What do I find? I find that society doesn’t really want to know a man who feels pain. Society doesn’t really care to hear that he is self aware. Society turns around and ignores his cry. Society laughs at his pain. Society denies his right to help and even assumes blame, and thinks he is less of a man. And so society adds to his guilt and shame.

And so this man turns inward having been encouraged by society to self blame and carry guilt and shame. For it turns out that society really wants a man who doesn’t care. Doesn’t feel! For what society really wants is a man to be silent and not to really share. It really wants this man to neither share, nor to be bent over double in despair.

But as a Christian I find a whisper to my soul. Keep looking up, for here you will find your goal. You can cast all your burdens onto me for I care. My yoke is easy and with me you can share. I know all about you. I know of your cares.

And so silently I start to cry out to above. Then the pain starts to come out; and becomes more then a sob. It’s a moan without words. It renders the heart. It comes from a pain of desperation that doesn’t know where to start.

Society may not care. And it may seem that I am on my own. No matter my struggle. No matter my need. No matter who ignores me, or refuses my story to believe. I have taken heart to know that the one whom is above. He has totally walked in my shoes and so gives comfort from above.

This comfort and care and this deep love from above, it’s not just for me. It’s for all who are in need. For He cries out to all, Come, come to me. All who are heavily burdened and deeply tired and in great pain. For I will give you rest. I will grant you relief. Together we will walk and bring you through all this grief.

So I start to sob and pour my heart out to God. He takes my pain, and replaces it again and again. He grants me great hope. He takes my guilt and he takes my shame and he replaces it with acceptance and love. It’s a love that’s so deep. A love that can only come from above, he replaces deep sorrow with joy from above. It’s a joy that brings strength. It’s a joy that brings hope.

And so the whisper to my soul is there is a future for you. I have a plan and a purpose and I truly love you.

Reaction To Women Abusing Men In Public

13 06 2010

This is an interesting story filmed by the American Broadcasting Company about public reactions to women abusing men in public.

I’m wondering what your reaction and thoughts would be? Should they be any different to what they would be if the genders were reversed?